I'm walking down the street in downtown Flagstaff, AZ carefully picking my way through ice, snow, and frozen puddles. I arrive at an intersection with traffic lights and dutifully press the pedestrian button. At this particular light (Humphreys and Columbus for those who know the area), traffic going my direction has a green left turn arrow before the pedestrian light signals me to cross. Most of the traffic driving north on Humphreys turns left at Columbus and much of the traffic coming east on Columbus turns right on Humphreys. As I am on the southwest corner of the intersection, this can present a problem for me. I watch in disgust as the folks turning right onto Humphreys don't even pass a glance at the sidewalk before speeding through their right-hand turn. My light is still red--so that's fine--sort of. As my light turns green I tentatively step into the street. It never fails that some right-turn vehicle will speed up to the intersection upon seeing me and quickly make his (or her) turn. The same goes for those who want to turn left but missed the green arrow. Even if I am in the middle of the intersection, they will zoom by me if they can---as long as they don't have to make eye contact.
It's like , as long as this is the case--you are virtually invisible to the person you are accosting. I have tried jumping up and down, waving my hands like a lunatic to get their attention--sometimes it works and they are forced to look at me. At this point they will stop. But if it is a particularly heavy traffic day--forget it. I could drop my pants right there in the middle of the intersection--they might turn their heads for a fleeting glance at my rear--but if they are in a hurry--I don't exist from the waist up.
I'm sure I engage in this practice as well--not running over pedestrians--but reserving eye contact for pleasant interactions. I tend more toward the shy side in social situations so making eye contact is sometimes quite difficult with strangers. But I'm pretty sure if I had to fire someone at work--I would do my damnedest not to meet their gaze. It's really off-putting to me when someone looks me right in the eye and lies or says something nasty. Without eye contact--I can take it--sort of like an unwritten rule. No eye contact= "I feel really bad about what I'm doing and I know its wrong--forgive me, ok?" Eye contact = "you are slime and I am taking great delight in crushing you." Ever try to get your dog to make sustained eye contact with you? Mine won't do it. The minute I give them a hard stare, they immediately avert their eyes. I can actually hear them whisper under their breaths "asshole".
Then there are people who obsessed with eye contact--like they feel they can really "get you" if they pursue your gaze endlessly. I'm sure you've met these people--maybe you are one. I feel like they are zombies trying to steal my soul. I can actually envision my soul exiting my body through my eyes and being sucked into theirs--kind of like the little girl into the TV in Poltergeist. The nice thing about these people is that you can really tell if you've offended them--you can just see that little flick away of one pupil--and the spell is broken. Don't they realize that people like me will say anything to get them to stop. They probably walk away from such conversations whispering "asshole" under their breaths--when really all I was trying to do was save my soul. Honest.
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